LIFE IS STRANGE, NO?
Firstly, life is strange. It just is. The whys and wherefores matter not, oft times, only instinct and intuition. Timing. Decision. Action. Perception. Reality.
But just what is real.
Sometimes weird things just happen, and something from somewhere says no or now. Sometimes it can be at the best of possible times, others the worst. Sometimes just in the middle, when you feel you live in a "dying place" inside yourself. When you feel incorporeal; or like a fully dried raisin, empty but for a few useless and wasting calories. Spent and tired and drained and passionless and always awake. Too awake. Scary awake. Too many shadows darting from the corners of your eyes. You are sober when this happens. That is when the bottom feels like it is slipping out. The bottom of your mind, sluicing through empty and invisible pores as sweat and invisible gasses . . . you feel like an Android. Or perhaps a Replicant. Devoid of ALL creativity and Free Will and Thought . . . and you feel like living damage: a consistently self-deprecating invisible demon claws forever at your back,your heart. Depression, anxiety . . . madness slowly sets in as creativity slithers silently out.
Then?
Nothing.
Until that one day your demons decide to fukk with you just a little more. Then seclusion, exile of the self and will and mind; all of it self-delusion.
But you don't know that yet.
No, not til that day you, seemingly for no apparent reason whatsoever, decide get up and attempt to (proactively through intuition/instinct?) do something you've been battling with yourself about for what by now feels like aeons, actively fighting to remember passwords and log-ins and usernames and all that bullshit.
"A writer who doesn't write, is merely an insane person." Not the exact quote; do not recall who said it; too lazy to look it up, heh. But it was something writer and friend John Claude Smith had said to me once in an online conversation we had been having about writing and madness and muses.
Your perceptions,of all things, have shifted. Now you have noticed that.
But this comes with another something you didn't notice due to your ever so oddly wired perpetual-motor time-shift mind frame (of the passed [yes, spelled as such on purpose] what feels like aeons), as again it didn't allow you to notice. Things you would not/could not have conceived.
My own mind, once again, my own worst enemy.
Finally, though, it circles round, the slithering Ouroborous round the Moebius Strip; the machine has re-awoken, restarted itself, not alone but through the other beautiful strips that criss-crossed yours, bringing to your eyes now colors that you did not even realize existed yet always have; colors that speak in the soft martian-sky whispers of cosmic winds and the safe, warm eternal sands they cover you with, cocoon-like. A cocoon that slowly crackles, bringing forth a different, healthier, safer beast, one of positive energy as opposed to negative despair.
Its like learning to breathe for the first time. Creativity has come back. Learning, slowly, to take better of myself, inside my mind; inside my heart.
We all should, we all need to.
If you actually read all this ramble, try to learn from it as I am, if you yourself are in despair. And thank you for your time.
Onto other things now:
NEWS:
Starting at some point today at the FREEZINE Of Fantasy And Science Fiction, is my 4 part serial OF CADENCE AND WEATHERED STATUES. Runs from today until Monday Sept. 29th. Go read and enjoy some great FREE Lovecraftian-themed fiction, my style, as well as the other great stories by Gene Stewart and Keith Graham that appeared in this edition of the FZ. Go here: http://boardtree.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-return-of-vincent-daemon.html?spref=fb and check until it is up, which should be by this evening. When up I'll put in the proper link.
Also, check out my regular new column ROSETTA BONES ( http://theintestinalfortitude.wordpress.com/category/reviews-editorials/rosetta-bones/ ) on the e-zine THE INTESTINAL FORTITUDE ( http://theintestinalfortitude.wordpress.com/ ), essentially the online companion to THE ANDROID VIRUS AND SEAN radio show ( http://www.theintestinalfortitude.com/ ). My ROSETTA BONES column covers music/film reviews and rants and rages on whatever topic hits at the time and more. Currentlyup, my review for the new album from Dave Lombardo's project PHILM (http://theintestinalfortitude.wordpress.com/2014/09/22/philm-fire-from-the-evening-sun-review-by-vincent-daemon/ ), and a commentary on morbid porn titled Elegy: The Death Knell Of Sensuality In Smut ( http://theintestinalfortitude.wordpress.com/2014/09/18/rosetta-bones-elegy-the-death-knell-of-sensuality-in-smut/ ). For October's horrors I'll be doing (amongst reviews) a several part article on the horrific history of the band CHRISTIAN DEATH, righting wrongs, dispelling misgivings and the many myths that surround these enigmatic Goth Rock legends. And on that, I just may be on the radio show at some point in October, as it is their special October Horror's Month, and they have a great line-up of guests and gags. More info as it comes.
In October I will be in a special holiday edition of the FREEZINE, with two of my favorites, but for now that remains between the nano's and I. However, you will not be disappointed. And if you are, shame on you.
And some things I have come across that you should all give a look-see:
For you words, check out the blog Liberate Tutemet ( http://liberatetutemet.com/ ), by writer Linda Nagle. Sonnets, verse, and wondrously worded, intelligent rants from this incredibly gifted and perceptive writer. Very powerful, passionate, raw, honest wordplay at work here.
For your visuals, check out Kara Koma's gallery ( subculture-nos.deviantart.com/ ) to see some amazing, macabre and beautiful art from another of the great undiscovered's floating around. Plus her gruesomely erotic piece "Weathered Statue" accompanies my story this weekend in the FREEZINE.
That's all for now, kiddies. Looks like you all have some reading and investigating to do, and it will be well worth your while to do so.
Thanks for reading and Stay Sick,
Vincent Daemon
You know it
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